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Monday, July 16, 2018

When she's so obsessed about marriage...




Research has it that majority of young girls/ladies between the age bracket of 20-25 are so obsessed with marriage.

In most relationships the ladies tend to scare their men away with marriage issues and topics. This is however not a bad idea, but i think there's more to marriage than just fantasizing about it.
What you hear mostly when the issue of marriage is being discussed by the ladies are things like this:
"Baby you'll get me that wedding gown during our wedding" has he told you he'll get married to you or are you trying to force him to get married to you. This is certainly one of the reasons why most ladies get into the wrong marriages or end up having a crash in their relationships.
I see a lot of post on social media especially facebook, of girls praying for their rightful man, this leaves them at a point of insecurity because they will hurriedly hook up with any man who talks about relationship or marriage without a blink of an eye. Some ladies get lucky in finding their ideal man through this means but some don't.

Marriage is a lifetime union, its not something you rush into and rush out from anyhow you like. It has to do with deep thinking, assessment and of course serious counseling to be able to ascertain if that person is your life time partner. 
Most ladies are so obsessed about marriage that they forget to look at the financial status of their man, is he going to rob a bank to get married to you? have you thought about other criteria's a man must meet up with before getting into marriage? have you asked him if he's ready, and will you be able to wait till whenever he finally says the word you've been waiting for? these are questions you should ask yourself.

70% of men get scared when you tell them about marriage, especially when he's not yet ready. It makes him go into deep thoughts, thinking about things he hasn't achieved and this makes him begin to have a second thought of withdrawing from the relationship.

There are certain factors that should be considered by the ladies before going into marriage:


Finance: This is the very important aspect you should consider. Take a look at his financial capabilities, when i mean financial capabilities i mean his achievements so far, does he have a good financial ground, can he be able to provide for his family. A man must not be stinkingly rich before you get to conclude that you want to spend the rest of your life with him, if he has a source of cash in flow that will sustain him for a lifetime then he's good to go. 
Finance is a leading cause of divorce. It doesn't matter if you’re poor or rich, it’s how he handles his money that matters. Is he responsible? What does his spending and saving habits look like? You definitely don’t want to end up married and then discover he overspends, has ruined credit or a substantial amount of debt that will add strain to your relationship.

Future: 
This is another important factor you should consider. Pay attention to his ambitions and vision for his future. Does he include you in his future plans? It’s important to share similar goals and a future vision so you can dream together rather than drift apart. Teamwork equals dream-work. There are married couples who are doing completely different things and going in opposite directions, and it can work well for some of them, but will it work well for you? if you're the only one talking about the marriage of a thing, then i think you should stop talking about it, give him a break and see if he will bring it up. This is a simple way to know if he's ready or not.

Family: Pay attention to his relationship with his family. Consider it a red flag if he doesn't have one at all. While there are extenuating circumstances, you want to see that your future husband knows how to resolve conflict and repair relationships when conflict arises by extending forgiveness through his humility. How does he treat his mother? It sounds cliché, but it’s so true that how he treats his mother is a great indicator as to how he will treat you one day.

Reactions: Be quick to notice his reactions when you talk about marriage, this should also help you determine whether you'll stay with him forever or not. Not all relationship must lead to marriage anyway so don't be surprised when he reacts negatively, but you must be sure to differentiate between his reactions, is he reacting based on the fact that he's not yet ready or that he doesn't want to spend the rest of his life with someone like you, this is left for you to find out.

There are so many other factors you could still consider but i believe these are the major ones. The message passed here is that ladies should stop getting obsessed about marriage, because marriage is not something you just fantasize about, it involves planning, deep thinking, assessment and serious counseling. Don't be too quick to jump into marriage and don't force your partner to get married to you. Most men don't like to say their intentions until they're ready, give him some time and see if he'll give you a green light.

Written by:
Bright Humble
The Love Philosopher 

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